Bar B Q the Beef Festival Nearing

Chapter Four

The whole town of Hill Hollering Knob is in a spirit of jubilee while gearing up for their annual “Bar B Q the Beef Festival”. They are preparing floats with giant statues of cows, and heifer costumes for their marching band.

In the mean time the town council was in a meeting, because over the past 2 weeks the Phantom cow freed all the beef cattle in the whole town and state, as well as jumped in front of 4 more newly restored Ford pickup trucks out on old hwy 66 who were transporting beef cows for the festival, and if that wasn’t enough she left a note on the Mayors door saying; Ooooooo! Oooooooo! Moo! Mo! When translated says; where’s the beef?

“I’m worried” said the Mayor! “The only meat we have been able to bring into town is kangaroo meat and I do not have any stock in kangaroo meat! Can someone tell me; where’s my beef? Where can 50 thousand head of beef be hiding? My auctions and slaughter houses are closing down. I just don’t get it, how can one mad cow cause so much grief? I just do not understand why that Phantom cow only blacked my eye and she did not stuff my mouth with a superglue covered boxing glove?”

The Mayor full of grief got up from the meeting table and walked over to the window and peered out over the town’s festival preparations. People wearing cow costumes were walking everywhere, and causing even more grief was half the town wearing boxing gloves this year.

Sitting back down at the table the grief stricken Mayor began moving his head back and forth looking into everyone’s eyes. “I’m sorry everyone but I have nothing left to say, I’m just going home today to try my best to figure out how we can Bar B Q that Phantom cow during our festival instead of illegal kangaroo meat”.

The Mayor got up and walked to the door to let himself out. All of a sudden everyone at the table turned their head toward the window because a very loud Moooooooooooooooooooooo echoed through the window from the streets below.

When the town council turned back around to say good by to the Mayor, they all stared in awe as the Mayor hung from a poll like a roasting pig with a boxing glove stuffed in his mouth and as the Mayor struggled and mumbled with attempts to say get me free, it was obvious he had another black eye.

The new district attorney who had just arrived that day ran to help the Mayor, and Sheriff Posskicker ran out the door in a fast pursuit of the Phantom cow. There are some things you just do not do! Number one you do not let a new district attorney who has no idea what a Phantom cow is to aid you in removing a super glued boxing glove from your lips, and number two, you do not run down a hall way covered in cow plops.

As the Mayor chased the new district attorney down the hall way and out the back door of the judicial building swinging his roasting poll back and forth, Sheriff Posskicker was on his behind sliding out the judicial buildings’ front door and bobbing up and down the steps while warning his deputies on his hand held radio, with a reverberating voice that cut in and out with every step he slid past.

Well Posskicker finally came to a stop on the street curb and as he set there looking for the Phantom cow all he could see were cows wearing boxing gloves.

Posskicker knew the Mayor would kick him out of his office if he did not produce the Phantom cow for his annual “Bar B Q the Beef Festival” and as he set on the curb holding his nose, he got the brightest idea on how he would trap that heifer.